Alas

I thought this week’s post would be triumphant. We had originally scheduled a meeting for this past Monday to formally enter our adoption agency’s domestic pool. For the past few weeks, my gut has been telling me that our agency (that performed our home study) is perhaps not the right agency for us to use for placement. It wasn’t so much anything wrong with the agency, as much as they weren’t the right fit for our particular situation. So when they pushed our Monday meeting back to this Friday, I hopped on the internet and found one out in California that has a strong track record of placing bi-racial couples with bi-racial babies.

It has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster deciding whether or not to switch (we ultimately decided to go with the new group in California). I ignored my gut for awhile because I didn’t want to reopen a question I thought we had examined thoroughly. But we all know that nothing good comes from ignoring your gut feelings. I do feel good about our new decision but I am also frustrated because this is going to delay us at least a few weeks as we have to work through this new group’s application process and redo our profile to match their format.

In the grand scheme of things, I know another month isn’t that big a deal. What’s four measly weeks after five years of infertility hell? And I know I just need to have faith that in the grand scheme of things we are doing what is best to create our family. Still, there are days that it is hard to think about having to wait even one more day to have a child in my arms.