I thought this week’s post would be triumphant. We had originally scheduled a meeting for this past Monday to formally enter our adoption agency’s domestic pool. For the past few weeks, my gut has been telling me that our agency (that performed our home study) is perhaps not the right agency for us to use for placement. It wasn’t so much anything wrong with the agency, as much as they weren’t the right fit for our particular situation. So when they pushed our Monday meeting back to this Friday, I hopped on the internet and found one out in California that has a strong track record of placing bi-racial couples with bi-racial babies.
It has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster deciding whether or not to switch (we ultimately decided to go with the new group in California). I ignored my gut for awhile because I didn’t want to reopen a question I thought we had examined thoroughly. But we all know that nothing good comes from ignoring your gut feelings. I do feel good about our new decision but I am also frustrated because this is going to delay us at least a few weeks as we have to work through this new group’s application process and redo our profile to match their format.
In the grand scheme of things, I know another month isn’t that big a deal. What’s four measly weeks after five years of infertility hell? And I know I just need to have faith that in the grand scheme of things we are doing what is best to create our family. Still, there are days that it is hard to think about having to wait even one more day to have a child in my arms.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentines Day
I have to admit, most of my life I have been very anti-Valentines Day. The years when I was single it seemed like the holiday was created just to mock me. When I was in a new relationship, there always seemed to be so much stress involved - guys practically twitch from the pressure of trying to live up to some perceived Valentines day fantasy every woman harbors. It all seemed like more trouble than it is worth.
The first year I was dating my husband took me to an incredible meal at a local French restaurant. Given I was a starving graduate student, this was an incredibly elaborate date. Prior to leaving the house, our roommate casually asked him if he had gotten me a Valentines Day card to which he replied “no, we’re going out to dinner”. My inner sarcastic self could not be restrained and I went over the top pretending to be horrified that he was so inconsiderate as to forget a card. It wasn’t until months later that I learned he had no idea that I was joking and was very upset that he had “ruined” Valentines Day. Yeah, I felt like a total arse when I found that out – it was certainly not the first time I suffered from an acute case of foot-in-mouth disease. The next few years the holiday made him anxious. It took a few years before I could really convince him that he didn’t have to buy me flowers or candy to make me happy – that I thought it was as much of a Hallmark holiday as he did. I think I finally got my point across the year I suggested we celebrate by going to Five Guys for burgers (great burgers but basically a fast food joint for those of you reading outside the DC area).
Now, husband and I are on the same page. We both agree that it’s a nice to take some time to focus on our love for each other, but we insist that it isn’t stressful. All that really matters is that we spend a bit of time together. Sometimes we stay in and cook a nice meal together. Sometimes we get take out and rent a movie. Tonight he is working, so last night we went out to one of our favorite restaurants in DC.
But there is one thing we always do – exchange cards.
The first year I was dating my husband took me to an incredible meal at a local French restaurant. Given I was a starving graduate student, this was an incredibly elaborate date. Prior to leaving the house, our roommate casually asked him if he had gotten me a Valentines Day card to which he replied “no, we’re going out to dinner”. My inner sarcastic self could not be restrained and I went over the top pretending to be horrified that he was so inconsiderate as to forget a card. It wasn’t until months later that I learned he had no idea that I was joking and was very upset that he had “ruined” Valentines Day. Yeah, I felt like a total arse when I found that out – it was certainly not the first time I suffered from an acute case of foot-in-mouth disease. The next few years the holiday made him anxious. It took a few years before I could really convince him that he didn’t have to buy me flowers or candy to make me happy – that I thought it was as much of a Hallmark holiday as he did. I think I finally got my point across the year I suggested we celebrate by going to Five Guys for burgers (great burgers but basically a fast food joint for those of you reading outside the DC area).
Now, husband and I are on the same page. We both agree that it’s a nice to take some time to focus on our love for each other, but we insist that it isn’t stressful. All that really matters is that we spend a bit of time together. Sometimes we stay in and cook a nice meal together. Sometimes we get take out and rent a movie. Tonight he is working, so last night we went out to one of our favorite restaurants in DC.
But there is one thing we always do – exchange cards.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Yes, I'm Still Alive
Yikes it’s been a long time since I last posted. I can’t really tell you why - some days I’ve been too busy with other projects and other days it’s just pure laziness.
At any rate, my social worker’s suggestion of a Shutterfly book was a stroke of genius. I have been a bit too obsessive about it, but so far, I’m pleased with the results. It is much more polished than it ever could have been if I took the scrapbook approach. The only downside is that it doesn’t allow a lot of space for text so I have to find a way to say a lot with just a little. In a way, this is good because I don’t want to overwhelm the people who will be reading it. On the other hand, it’s difficult to describe our relationship, our personalities, and why we’ll make kickin’ parents in just a few paragraphs. I’ve probably rewritten the text 50 times already and it’s still not exactly how I want it. I can’t express how intimidating it is to create a way to say “I’m sorry you feel you are unable to raise your child, but if you are going to have someone else raise him or her, please let it be us” in just a few paragraphs.
Another benefit of using Shutterfly is that I learned how to use my scanner and finally scanned my wedding pictures. After 6 years of marriage, I am finally ready to create a wedding album. Yes, I take procrastination to a new level.
New recipes since I last posted: I made a cous cous with pine nuts from the Barefoot Contessa At Home cookbook. It was easy to make, tasted great, and comprised mostly of ingredients I usually have on hand. It’ll definitely be a side dish I make over and over. I also made Sweet-and-Sour slaw from the Cook’s Illustrated The Best Recipes Cookbook. It was fine but not exciting enough to be worth remaking. I also made Boston Baked Beans from The New Basics Cookbook. These had excellent flavor and I’ll definitely make them again. The only issue was that bean dishes that use dried beans are my nemesis, if recipes can be your nemesis (or whatever the plural of nemesis is). Typically, the beans wind up either incredibly undercooked or overcooked mush. This was my best attempt yet but the beans were still a bit undercooked. Mark my words, though, I will conquer this cooking technique.
At any rate, my social worker’s suggestion of a Shutterfly book was a stroke of genius. I have been a bit too obsessive about it, but so far, I’m pleased with the results. It is much more polished than it ever could have been if I took the scrapbook approach. The only downside is that it doesn’t allow a lot of space for text so I have to find a way to say a lot with just a little. In a way, this is good because I don’t want to overwhelm the people who will be reading it. On the other hand, it’s difficult to describe our relationship, our personalities, and why we’ll make kickin’ parents in just a few paragraphs. I’ve probably rewritten the text 50 times already and it’s still not exactly how I want it. I can’t express how intimidating it is to create a way to say “I’m sorry you feel you are unable to raise your child, but if you are going to have someone else raise him or her, please let it be us” in just a few paragraphs.
Another benefit of using Shutterfly is that I learned how to use my scanner and finally scanned my wedding pictures. After 6 years of marriage, I am finally ready to create a wedding album. Yes, I take procrastination to a new level.
New recipes since I last posted: I made a cous cous with pine nuts from the Barefoot Contessa At Home cookbook. It was easy to make, tasted great, and comprised mostly of ingredients I usually have on hand. It’ll definitely be a side dish I make over and over. I also made Sweet-and-Sour slaw from the Cook’s Illustrated The Best Recipes Cookbook. It was fine but not exciting enough to be worth remaking. I also made Boston Baked Beans from The New Basics Cookbook. These had excellent flavor and I’ll definitely make them again. The only issue was that bean dishes that use dried beans are my nemesis, if recipes can be your nemesis (or whatever the plural of nemesis is). Typically, the beans wind up either incredibly undercooked or overcooked mush. This was my best attempt yet but the beans were still a bit undercooked. Mark my words, though, I will conquer this cooking technique.
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