Why Adopt?

While deciding whether or not adoption was right for us, I read numerous books and articles about potential questions and issues we should be expected to face. The most common, of course, is the inevitable question “why was I adopted”? Having not been placed with a child yet, I can’t begin to formulate an answer to why our future child’s birth family will create an adoption plan (yes, I’m already trained in adoption speak!). But I have given some thought on how to answer the “why did you and dad decide adopt?” query.

It is very common to hear someone say that they adopted because they were unable to have children of their own. I get the idea behind the sentiment, but when you really think about it, it kind of misses the point entirely. I mean, it is almost like saying you had a kid because you had unprotected sex – it speaks to the how not the why.

The truth is, I am adopting for the exact same reason husband and I stopped using birth control – I want to have a baby to nurture, love, educate, and raise. I want to watch my child learn about and eventually find their own way in the world. I want to parent. I tried to reach that goal one way and when that way failed, I sought another way. When exploring my options, I thought long and hard about all the challenges and blessings of adoption and eventually decided it was the way I wanted to achieve my dream of having a family. In other words, just because it is my second choice, does not mean it is second best.

It may sound like semantics, but to me it is a critical distinction.